Purim

Purim is a Jewish holiday celebrating G-d's problem with one ancient anti-Semite's Final Solution. It is one of the two Jewish holidays enacted by the Sages rather than recorded in the Torah. (The other is Chanukah.) Purim is the plural for lots in Persian. Haman (pronounced Hey-mahn), the chief of staff of the Persian Empire, attempted the ethnic cleansing of the kingdom's Jewish population. He cast lots to determine what date would be best to wipe out the Jews, came up with the 13th day of the Hebrew month Adar, dispatched an order to every government office, and sat back to take a drink. Little did Haman know that the recently coroneted Queen Esther was Jewish and the cousin of Mordechai. Mordechai begged Esther to intervene and ultimately succeeded. To mark this great event, Mordechai and Esther instituted that every year the 14th of Adar, the day the Jews rested from battle against their foes, be celebrated with feasts and rejoicing.